


After the Tone

by BeneficialAddiction



Series: Boxers, Briefs, and Other Shorts [31]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Post-Avengers (2012), Voicemail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 08:11:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18961324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeneficialAddiction/pseuds/BeneficialAddiction
Summary: Fury refuses to give his phone back until he’s well. He’s got a pile of voicemail and emails stored up, a mountain of documents to go through – it may have been a full year since he was declared dead, but there’s still plenty of mess left to clean up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got it into my head to do this fic sort of flip-book style, so here goes!

**YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICEMAIL BOX OF:** _Phillip Coulson._ **PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.**

*******

The first message is just a gasp, a sharp intake of breath.

It’s a half-strangled sob, a whimper, then the click and hum of dead air.


	2. Chapter 2

**YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICEMAIL BOX OF:** _Phillip Coulson._ **PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.**

*******

The second is timestamped three days later, just thirty-six seconds of wracking, wet tears and pain. 


	3. Chapter 3

**YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICEMAIL BOX OF:** _Phillip Coulson._ **PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.**

*******

There are four more in a row like that, and Phil’s heart aches in his chest. 


	4. Chapter 4

**YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICEMAIL BOX OF:** _Phillip Coulson._ **PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.**

*******

The seventh starts out the same way, but ends with a hard thump and a crunch, the sound of a fist hitting drywall, then the static crackle of failed electronics. 


	5. Chapter 5

**YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICEMAIL BOX OF:** _Phillip Coulson._ **PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.**

*******

The eighth call comes from a different number, and he can’t hear anything at all, but he still knows who’s on the other end. 


	6. Chapter 6

Those first eight voicemails span three months, the first three months after his reported death during the Battle of New York. He hadn’t even come out of the coma in that time, hadn’t known if Clint had even been _recovered_ from Loki’s thrall let alone if he was aware of Phil’s continued existence. When he does finally wake up – seven months after being skewered by the mad godling – Fury assures him that Barton is doing well, even better than expected as one of the Avengers. He leaves it at that because he’s sure that Barton and Romanov both will drop in on him as he struggles through his physical therapy and recovery, but they never show, and by the time he learns the truth about Fury’s continued deception, it’s been nearly twelve months. 

Twelve months of being dead, even after he was brought back to life. 

It’s a little staggering to say the least. 

At twelve months he’s still tender, still hurting, but he can move and he can breathe and he can walk without assistance, and maybe he’s not quite up to field work just yet but he’s more than well enough to thwart Fury’s efforts at keeping him out and start reviewing the Avengers’ missions’ reports. It takes him less than a few hours to skim the information from their last three battles, to find the evidence he needs to prove that yes, they are doing well, but they could be doing far better. 

No fieldwork. 

He’s being thwarted left and right, kept out of things and kept from communicating with the world outside of his little secret hospital. It makes him suspicious that Fury let him into the Avengers’ files, let him access what he needed to read about how Rogers was still struggling to adjust to the 21st Century, how Banner still didn’t trust anyone, least of all himself, how Stark was trying but would need more help than he was getting now to learn how to play nicely with others. 

They need a handler, a liaison to SHIELD, and that is something that Phil can provide. 

He writes out his proposal on the back of the crosswords he’s been provided with, with a dull-leaded number 2 pencil. He lists all the reasons why the Avengers should be told of his recovery, all the reasons why he should be allowed back to work, and then signs with a not-so-subtle threat to just quit and do it himself if he’s not sanctioned to do it. He has it delivered to Fury’s desk by courier and receives his cell phone back in return, and that’s more of a response than he expected to get if he’s being perfectly honest. 

He’d thought he was recovering well until he sat down and listened to those voicemails. 

He can’t breathe.


	7. Chapter 7

**YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICEMAIL BOX OF:** _Phillip Coulson._ **PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.**

*******

“ ’M sorry Sir. God, I’m so sorry.” 


	8. Chapter 8

The first few had been bad, just guttural, instinctive sounds of animal pain. 

Hearing Barton’s voice is ten times worse. 

It’s like being shot all over again, lancing pain through his chest that makes his breath stick in his throat and his knees go weak. He leans back against the pillows on his converted hospital bed and walks himself through some meditation exercises in order to bring everything back under control again, because he knows if he doesn’t he’ll be swarmed by half the hospital staff and they’ll take the phone away, considering that it seems to have set him back a month already. 

He can’t let that happen. 

He wants to call, wants desperately to call right now and end the pain that Barton – shit, Clint - the pain that _Clint_ must be in, but he pushes through and keys in the code for the next message. 

He doesn’t know if he does it out of punishment or preparation.


	9. Chapter 9

**YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICEMAIL BOX OF:** _Phillip Coulson._ **PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.**

*******

Nothing but more tears.

Soft. 

Somber. 

Resigned.


	10. Chapter 10

**YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICEMAIL BOX OF:** _Phillip Coulson._ **PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.**

*******

Clint’s throat clicks as he swallows hard into the receiver, and it’s telling that Phil can recognize him even from that one small sound.

“I...” 

Dead air.


	11. Chapter 11

**YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICEMAIL BOX OF:** _Phillip Coulson._ **PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.**

*******

“I told Rockwell about this. About... calling. He says it’s not great as far as coping skills go, but for now if it... if it keeps my hands steady it’s ok. I told him I just needed to hear your voice and he... he kind of reminds me of you. He’s pretty direct for a shrink.”

“He says... he says grief doesn’t have a timeline but this probably should. He said six months, maybe. Only gives me three more. I don’t... I mean, I can’t...” 

Dead air.


	12. Chapter 12

**YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICEMAIL BOX OF:** _Phillip Coulson._ **PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.**

*******

“I don’t wanna lose you Phil,” Clint whispers, hoarse and aching. “Nat says I already have but I can’t... I don’t want that. You were the most important person in my life and I... 


	13. Chapter 13

**YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICEMAIL BOX OF:** _Phillip Coulson._ **PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.**

*******

“I know it wasn’t my fault. I know it wasn’t _me._ I’d never... But I sorta did and I’m so sorry and I’ll never be able to tell you that. I... Nat always said I should tell you, before it was too late. I don’t think this is what she meant, but... it _is_ too late now. I mean, you’re not even hearing this, it’s just a stupid way for me to... never mind.” 


	14. Chapter 14

_‘Tell me what?’_ Phil thinks desperately, his heart pounding in his aching chest as something heavy rises into his throat, something that... 

No. 

No, he can’t think of it as hope. 

Even _if_ Clint means what he... what he wants him to mean, things are different now. He’s been gone for months, kept this from him, even if it wasn’t his fault, and he... 

As he sits there sweating in a stupid, fearful, pleading mess the phone in his hand starts to ring. He heart skips a beat, a jolt zips across his nerves, and his breath catches so that he can hardly breathe. He feels paralyzed, completely panicked, and it’s stupid, so stupid but he can’t even get his fingers to turn the phone over to check the caller ID. 

Not that he needs to – he's pretty sure he can guess who it is on the other end. 

Before he can shake the electrified numbness, the inability to control his hands and feel his face again, the phone stops ringing. 

Twenty seconds later, it beeps with a voicemail notification. 

Hands trembling, he manages to punch in the keycode and bring it to his ear.


	15. Chapter 15

**YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICEMAIL BOX OF:** _Phillip Coulson._ **PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.**

*******

“Someone accessed the Avengers’ mission files from the last year,” a shaking, breathless voice says. “Stark’s got the location pinned down to a private ward at a local hospital. Nat thinks I’m crazy, they all think... but Fury lies, and if anyone could’ve survived that it was...” 

A hard swallow, a few seconds silence, then desperation. 

“Please. If it... if it is you, just... _please._ I hate talking to this fucking voice recording.”


	16. Chapter 16

Phil’s fingers still won’t work quite right, but he manages to get the number punched in, the one he’s known by heart for years. He brings it to his ear again, listens to it ring, and then it finally, finally connects.


	17. Chapter 17

“...Phil?”


End file.
